Isolation, Pressure & ‘Finding the Good in the Bad’ in Myanmar

May Moe Tun, Aug 2020

May was one of the first interviewees I spoke with during the Covid-19 series (40 interviewees, 40 countries, 40 days). My questions the first time round focused specifically on the political elements of lockdown, as opposed to the experience of those living it. May’s open discussion of her personal feelings of hopelessness and isolation reminded me not to lose focus on the ‘human’ portion of The Human Perspective. I caught up with her 4 months later to see what had changed:

‘’Can I hear an ice cream truck in the background?

[Yeah. I might have to close the window]

In the past few months I definitely got to a point where I did not understand what I was feeling. As you said, I was frustrated. I thought, 'Am I sad?' Let me figure out what I'm feeling, I don't like not knowing what I'm feeling’. I can't describe it. I would usually lie on my bed, knowing that I was feeling an emptiness. I don't know. I just couldn't name what I was feeling. It was really hard. I was also disappointed at myself for not being able to ‘grow’

Because I was at home and I wasn't really doing anything. I'm not really a student right now. So I'm not really learning. I'm reading books. But after I finished the book, I felt like I had I have to immediately start doing something else, or else I wouldn't ‘grow’. You know, that constant need to ‘grow’ and it was just too much. I don't know why

I think people have this idea that they have to grow every minute. Every second. Like they have to move and they can't be static. And I don't know why we measure our value with that group. It can hurt you

I think most people will be emphasising on the negativity of the events that happened. But there was this one thing, that I'm really happy that it happened. Well, I wouldn't say if it wasn't for COVID-19. But it's true. Like, because COVID-19 happened. I met someone. And I really appreciate that I met that person

It was a funny encounter. It's funny the way we met. But yeah, I would have to say thanks to COVID-19. I’m not saying it's a good thing, but because that happened, another thing happened. So yeah, good things happen too’'

May Moe Tun
Yangon, Myanmar